While in the shower this morning I was thinking about what I do, and do not like about myself.
Dislikes:
1. I constantly think I have upset someone. If someone walks by me, that I know, and they don't say anything, I automatically think I have done something to upset them. I may have only said hi so them in the last 4 hours, but maybe my tone was wrong. Maybe they thought I was saying they looked high. Maybe they didn't hear me when I said hi and they think I am ignoring them. Did I accidentally spit on them while taking and they were offended? The endless concerns go on.
2. I am emotional. When I tell someone something nice about them I get teary eyed.
3. I sometimes have nothing to say. This sometimes comes across as being moody. (Shut up Jenny, I am not moody. That right bringing out the S word.) I really have nothing to say, not because I am upset, I just have no input.
4. I get my feelings hurt...really easy.
5. I care about what other people think of me.
6. I hate my stomach. If I could just cut out my midsection and stick my head on my legs it would be great.
7. I am scared of squirrels, bugs and mice. Not normal fears.."oooo they are gross." I have actually ran when I thought a squirrel was chasing me, more than once, more than ten times. When I have to kill a bug, I cry. Not because I am sad to kill it, I have this irrational fear that it is going to jump on me. ( I have never thought what it might do while it was on me.) Mice, mice are just sneaky, and small and have teeth. I picture them gnawing on my feet while I sleep.
8. I cannot drive in the rain. Let me rephrase, I cannot be in the car when it is storming. John had the priveledge of seeing a full blown panic attack in the car when it starting raining on our way home from Oklahoma City. In my defense, I did total my car on the Turner Turnpike in the rain.
9. If I read something, its true. I take everything as a fact. Did you know Elvis is still alive?
10. For someone who cares so much about what other people think, I share a lot. Maybe I share too much. I learned in Psychology revealing your vulnerabilities is how you become close to people. The more I thought about this, the more it made sense. The people in my life who share very little personal things I am not very close too.
Likes
1. I am funny. I make myself laugh a lot. If I can make someone else laugh during the day, I think that day is a success.
2. I have pretty eyes.
3. I am kind hearted, compassionate, and empathetic.
4. I am a good, no, a great cook.
5. I can sing very well.
6. I am a very hard worker.
7. I am physically strong woman. (Not in a creepy way.)
8. I can joke about my downfalls.
9. (How sad, its getting hard to name things I like) I am emotional. I know I listed this as a dislike, but it is also one of my likes. I'm real. I cry when I am sad, you can tell I am angry when I am mad, I laugh way out loud when I am happy.
10. I share a lot about my life. I have been burnt, I have felt vulnerable, but thats what makes me, me.