Monday, July 28, 2008

What Makes Me, Me

While in the shower this morning I was thinking about what I do, and do not like about myself.

Dislikes:

1. I constantly think I have upset someone. If someone walks by me, that I know, and they don't say anything, I automatically think I have done something to upset them. I may have only said hi so them in the last 4 hours, but maybe my tone was wrong. Maybe they thought I was saying they looked high. Maybe they didn't hear me when I said hi and they think I am ignoring them. Did I accidentally spit on them while taking and they were offended? The endless concerns go on.

2. I am emotional. When I tell someone something nice about them I get teary eyed.

3. I sometimes have nothing to say. This sometimes comes across as being moody. (Shut up Jenny, I am not moody. That right bringing out the S word.) I really have nothing to say, not because I am upset, I just have no input.

4. I get my feelings hurt...really easy.

5. I care about what other people think of me.

6. I hate my stomach. If I could just cut out my midsection and stick my head on my legs it would be great.

7. I am scared of squirrels, bugs and mice. Not normal fears.."oooo they are gross." I have actually ran when I thought a squirrel was chasing me, more than once, more than ten times. When I have to kill a bug, I cry. Not because I am sad to kill it, I have this irrational fear that it is going to jump on me. ( I have never thought what it might do while it was on me.) Mice, mice are just sneaky, and small and have teeth. I picture them gnawing on my feet while I sleep.

8. I cannot drive in the rain. Let me rephrase, I cannot be in the car when it is storming. John had the priveledge of seeing a full blown panic attack in the car when it starting raining on our way home from Oklahoma City. In my defense, I did total my car on the Turner Turnpike in the rain.

9. If I read something, its true. I take everything as a fact. Did you know Elvis is still alive?

10. For someone who cares so much about what other people think, I share a lot. Maybe I share too much. I learned in Psychology revealing your vulnerabilities is how you become close to people. The more I thought about this, the more it made sense. The people in my life who share very little personal things I am not very close too.

Likes

1. I am funny. I make myself laugh a lot. If I can make someone else laugh during the day, I think that day is a success.

2. I have pretty eyes.

3. I am kind hearted, compassionate, and empathetic.

4. I am a good, no, a great cook.

5. I can sing very well.

6. I am a very hard worker.

7. I am physically strong woman. (Not in a creepy way.)

8. I can joke about my downfalls.

9. (How sad, its getting hard to name things I like) I am emotional. I know I listed this as a dislike, but it is also one of my likes. I'm real. I cry when I am sad, you can tell I am angry when I am mad, I laugh way out loud when I am happy.

10. I share a lot about my life. I have been burnt, I have felt vulnerable, but thats what makes me, me.

5 comments:

jessica said...

Thanks for sharing, it made me cry. We are a lot more alike than I thought.

Jennifer said...

You and Jessica are big cry babies-oh I kid, I kid;~)

Thanks for the list although I wasn't surprised at everything you listed so I must know you more than I thought I did. Interesting stuff about revealing vulnerabilities and your Psychology class, I find it true too!

What a self realization day!

Anonymous said...

I tend to reveal my vulnerabilities to make people feel more comfortable around me. When you look like you have it all together with no problems, you are more intimidating to people. We live in such a fast-paced world I tend to avoid people who are "surface" people. I guess I feel like they don't believe I am trustworthy or maybe I am judgmental. Either way, it seems like they don't want a relationship with me and for me relationships are very important.

Since I don't have a blog, Amy, I am using yours! Ha!

Love you (your strengths & weaknesses)

Mom

Anonymous said...

Amy, you left out one under "Likes". No 11 should be you are sweet. :>)
Love you, Grandma

Shelly Collins said...

You are sweet :). I can relate to the no imput thing. what's up with that? really, sometimes i have nothing. i think it just means you have more to offer on something else...

was looking forward to seeing you tonight for the "garden dinner", but Blake was diagnosed with the Shingles today. Didn't want to risk giving Benjamin the chicken pox. Please pray Gwyn and Wilder don't get it. They haven't had the vaccs. scary.
Love Ya!