Thursday, October 02, 2008

On September 17

A few days before Hayley's wedding I found a lump in my breast. My first thought was that it was a blocked milk duct. When I woke up the next morning with the lump still there with no pain, I knew it wasn't a blocked milk duct (Milk Dud as Jenny calls them). I called the doctor, they couldn't get me in until Monday. I go and see Dr Parham, one of my all time favorite doctors. He could definitely feel a lump. I was right, it was not a blocked milk duct. He said he wasn't too concerned but would like me to go and get an ultrasound. Good. I would like that peace of mind. I go to schedule an appointment, they could get me in the following Monday. I guess I don't have much say so on when, and hope the wait doesn't give me ulcers. So, the following Monday I go to have an ultrasound. During the ultrasound I try desperately to "read" the ultrasound with no prevail. She stops, says she wants to go and show the Radiologist to see if he would also like a Mammogram. She is gone for maybe two minutes. She's found something that looks suspicious that must be why she had to go and consult with the Radiologist. I can feel the tears building in my eyes. She comes back in and says, "No, he doesn't want a mammogram. And he would also like me to tell you, he doesn't really see anything." Ahhhh, a sigh of relief, until I get to my car. Doesn't see anything? Anything at all? Nothing suspicious? There is something there I can feel it, John can feel it, Dr Parham can feel it, the tech can feel it. Now I wait. The rest of Monday passes, Tuesday passes, Wednesday morning passes, afternoon is passing, I decide to call the doctor. I then wait for a call back. 4:30 I get a call back from the nurse. "Well, the reports says he didn't really see anything." Yeah, I know I got that part. "It does say the fibers are showing...I will have Dr Parham go over that after he signs off on the report. More than likely he will set you up with a breast surgeon. Dr Parham will be in tomorrow." Thanks Jan. I now feel I know less.
I do know I am scared. Every abnormality, I have felt tired lately, my hormones seem out of wack, is this a sign? Its now Thursday 11:00 AM, and I still wait for that promised phone call more than likely to be set up for another appointment to yet wait some more.
Keep me in your prayers.

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

The waiting and unknown can be so frustrating! Get a BIOPSY done whatever it is that they tell you. The earlier that things are found the better off for you. Breast cancer or not you need to be 100% sure. I'm praying and also have the prayer warriors of my life group too.

That is my sisterly advice for today;)

jessica said...

Jonathan and I know how hard it is to hear they don't think it's anything. You are in our prayers. My cousin Annie had something like that when she was prego. I am calling to find out from her what it ended up being.

jessica said...

Annie had a biopsy and found hers was a lactating adenoma. Found in breastfeeding and pregnant women. She said if you want to know what to expect at the biopsy you can give her a call. Hope this is all it turns out to be for you.

Shelly Collins said...

Even if it is something it could just be a cyst. I have one. I had to get a mammogram. It was scary too. Try not to stress too much, sounds like it could be several things.