My weight or body image has always been an issue for me, I would say since about third grade. My weight naturally fluctuates. I have unnaturally made my weight fluctuate with the atkins diet, weight watchers, some soup diet courtesy of my sister, writing down every morsel that enters my body, I tried diet pills for one day (thought I might die from the jitters), not eating, etc. ect. John is one of the most complimentary people I know and I know his compliments are sincere. I was complaining one (of multiple times) about my body and he said, "I love your body." Thats what he is suppose to say and I didn't think much about it. Later, when analyzing the conversation (because that is what I do, I'm an analyser) I thought, I wish I saw my body the way John sees it. Then in deeper thought, I wondered how God saw my body. In my evening prayers I began praying for God to show me the way He sees me.
This is what God has shown me. I am a good mother who spends much more time on my child than on myself. My stretch marks are a sacrifice I made to have Ben. I would have stretch marks on my face if I had to to have a child. I am soft for my child to lay on. God made me a nurturer. I would much rather people see me as kind, someone who takes time for other people, someone who sacrifices for the ones I love, a Christian, a good mother, a good wife, someone who is compassionate, than the girl with the good body. I do not want my legacy to be my appearance.
My prayer for all the women in my life is that they start seeing themselves as God sees them.
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