Thursday, March 12, 2009

I tanned yesterday. I haven't tanned in about two years. I have begun to think seriously about sun spots, premature aging, etc, etc. BUT, there is just something so glorious about laying in that casket getting radiated with those cancer causing beams of light. Its just so relaxing. John and I are going to Cabo in less than two weeks and I have to get somewhat of a base or I will fry. Yes, Cabo. John is "working" a tennis match there and in passing I told John I wanted to go too. EEK! Then the thought of leaving Benjamin overwhelmed every cell in my body. Benjamin hasn't stayed the night away from me or I, him. I cry about it. If I hear one more time that I am leaving him in good hands or he will be fine I may possibly scream. I know he will be fine, I know he will be in good hands, if I thought differently I wouldn't leave him. I feel like my job as a parent is to protect my son. If I am in another country, how can I protect him? I also have a fear people won't do what I ask. I know, even in typing it, it sounds controlling. He is my child though, and I do know what is best for him. And, of course the biggest fear is me dying and leaving Benjamin. I feel like I need to fill out a last will and testament before I leave, just in case. Then I realize what a crazy I look like. I just want what is best for Ben. OK, I can feel shortness of breath approaching, so I must change the subject.
The house. We are in. Unpacking is a much bigger job than I had anticipated. The kitchen was unpacked first. I love cooking in the kitchen. There is so much space. Every other room is half unpacked, just enough for it to be livable. Pictures will soon come, just as soon as I can get everything organized.
School is killing me right now. Microbiology is by far the hardest most time consuming class I have ever taken.
I am thinking of having Easter at my house this year, at least the Saturday before Easter. I will cook a Turkey or Ham, maybe both and everyone brings a side dish...interested? Also an egg hunt for the kids? I always loved Easter when I was little.
I hope everyone is doing well!

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

1. if you die Ben can live with us.

2. you are controlling;) and it is a positive thing

3. forgo tanning in a bed no matter how relaxing it is and get a spray tan . . . love them!

4. can I go to Cabo with you all?

Lita said...

What? You didn't make a will when Ben was born? Serious. You need to do that before going to Cabo. I'm not kidding. Do you realize the war that would go on for custody of that little butterball? You don't want him ending up in foster care. I know this sounds loony and I am usually lighthearted and joking around, but NOT THIS TIME! If you want to do what's best for Ben....make a will! I'm serious. Sorry.

Shelly Collins said...

Wow, I haven't made a will either. Guess we should do that. How do you do it Lita? Do you have to have a lawyer?

Amy, hope you find peace and are able to enjoy your trip, you deserve it!

Shelly Collins said...

what about this?

www.doyourownwill.com/