Thursday, March 20, 2008

Failure

I just feel so defeated and like I am failing at the very basics of being a mother. We went back to the pediatrician and Benjamin has gained nothing. NOTHING, not even an ounce. He is not even back up to his birth weight and he will be 6 weeks next Tuesday. My milk is definetly in, he eats every 2-3 hours with an occasional 4 hour span through the night, he has normal wet and bowel movement diapers, developmentally he is right on target and is even a little ahead (he started rolling over at 4 weeks). The doctor is not worried, yet. We go back in 10 days to check to see if he has gained any weight, if not we will start running test then. One part of me wants to quit breastfeeding, another part of me knows that my milk is the best thing for Benjamin, another part of me wants to tell the doctor to run test now and not wait. The biggest part of me wants to just curl up and cry. I just don't know what to do. Keep Benjamin in your prayers. Maybe me too, for my sanity.

2 comments:

Blair Family said...

Amy, This happen to us with our Benjamin and now he is a chunky little boy. I know it is hard not to worry when they are not gaining weight. You and Benjamin will be in my prayers!

Jennifer said...

Sweet momma Amy! Positive is that he isn't LOSING weight and that is a huge success for little ones. He is fine as I saw in person and everything you are doing is perfect for your little boy. This is the part of parenting you are never prepared for, worrying! Keep up what you are doing, you are on the right track! Love ya!