Thursday, February 24, 2011

My eye, day 2.

I went and saw the first retina specialist on this day. Luckily John was able to take me. Yesterday my parents had to come and pick me up from the doctor since I couldn't see well enough to drive. This was a rough day and a really bad experience. I was so glad to have my husband there with me. It started with the dilation, photos of my eyes and then the doctor examining my eye. The examination was horrible. It was invasive and I felt so vulnerable. One of my biggest pet peeves concerning the medical field is when they do things without explaining it to the patient first. At one point I thought I had gone blind. They had put a gel in my eye and then stuck this cone thing to it. IT TOUCHED MY EYE. Not only touched it but for a long period of time. My head was strapped to the machine. I felt as if I was in a torturing device. When they removed it I couldn't see. Do you know how frightening that is? When I said, "I can't see." The only response is that's normal. Thanks for the heads up. After the intrusive examination he goes on to tell me he thinks I am having an autoimmune response. Ok. Why? Should I have blood work drawn? Should I be checked for autoimmune diseases? Where do we go from here? Will I get my vision back? After halfway answering all my questions he goes on to tell me he graduated at the top of his medical class and how smart you have to be to be a retina specialist. Obviously social skills are not needed.
I left in tears feeling as if nothing had been acomplished. My vision was the same. Most of all I was scared. Scared I had a tumor, scared I had an autoimmune disease. Scared of the unknown. I cried the remainder of the evening. Not knowing where or what to do next.

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