Elmo

Benji loves his Elmo. I think it is because his eyes are as big and beautiful as his.

Little Update

I went for my 6 week postpartum appointment today and everything is good. I am actually 4lbs away from being at my pre-pregnancy weight. I sure don't feel like it though!
I decided to go by Benjamin's doctor on my home to weigh him. I just couldn't wait until Thursday. He had gained some weight, but only 2 oz. I tried so hard not to cry, but I did. The poor nurse didn't know what to do. So she went and got the doctor. I told him I would like to start supplementing. He was against it, but understood. So I am only supplementing twice a day and only 1-3 ounces and only after I breast feed. I had him check his head to see if it had gotten any bigger and it had which it good. This means he does not have failure to thrive. His blood work it due to be back tomorrow, this will rule out rare diseases that could be causing him not to gain weight. John gets to feed Benjamin tonight for the first time and he is so excited, that's one good thing about us supplementing.
I hope everyone is having a good week!

Another trip to the lab...

I get a phone call today from a number I didn't recognize so I let it go to voicemail. I listen to it and it is Benjamin's doctor asking me to call him back on his cell phone. I have come to realize when a doctor calls himself, on his own cell phone, it isn't usually good news. He said he began to get concerned last night and consulted another colleage of his who specializes in "sick babies". He has decided he wants Benajmin to come into the lab today to have more blood drawn. I would rather have a needle stuck in my eye than to have Benjamin have more blood drawn. We go to the lab. I am much pushier this time than last. I let them know I need a hot pack for his foot and I want it to stay on longer than just a few minutes. One prick of the foot...squeeze for 2 hours (not really that long, but it felt like it). Phlebotomist: "That wasn't a good prick, I will have try again." I barely refrain from grabbing a needle and jabbing it in her foot repeatedly. Seriously, you see a little baby come in, at least get the best phlebotomist to draw blood. The second stick was good.
His bilirubin came back slightly elevated over normal, a 7, which is fine, 1-6 is considered in normal range. His other test will come back sometime next week. I posted on www.kellymom.com the issues Benjamin has been having and I received a very encouraging post back. This lady had been having the no weight gain issue and she figured out she had a lot of foremilk (lowfat) and the baby wasn't getting enough hindmilk (high fat, high calorie). So she gave me a few ideas to try. I really feel like this could fix it. So pray, pray, pray for hindmilk consumption.
I am feeling better since the last post. Thanks for the prayers and comments.

Failure

I just feel so defeated and like I am failing at the very basics of being a mother. We went back to the pediatrician and Benjamin has gained nothing. NOTHING, not even an ounce. He is not even back up to his birth weight and he will be 6 weeks next Tuesday. My milk is definetly in, he eats every 2-3 hours with an occasional 4 hour span through the night, he has normal wet and bowel movement diapers, developmentally he is right on target and is even a little ahead (he started rolling over at 4 weeks). The doctor is not worried, yet. We go back in 10 days to check to see if he has gained any weight, if not we will start running test then. One part of me wants to quit breastfeeding, another part of me knows that my milk is the best thing for Benjamin, another part of me wants to tell the doctor to run test now and not wait. The biggest part of me wants to just curl up and cry. I just don't know what to do. Keep Benjamin in your prayers. Maybe me too, for my sanity.

Family Picture Time!!

We had our first family pictures taken. It went much smoother than I thought it would, but it was exhausting.

Abram Derrick

Benjamin and I had the pleasure of being there for the birth of his new cousin Abram, also known as Lusty Boy #3, also known as Tank. I will let Jenny give everyone details, but it was quite the birth.

1 Month Old

No, he's not suprised in the second picture, he just has big, beautiful eyes : ) It feels likes longer than a month and also just like yesterday when I found out I was pregnant. I love my son, I love my husband. I am so thankful for the life God has blessed me with.

Little Dimple

Yes, I sat with the camera pointed at Benjamin for 30 minutes to get a picture of him smiling, but I got it. What else do I have to do?

True Blue Momma

Benjamin urinated on me and I was too tired to change my shirt. I slept in it and didn't think twice about it. I guess that makes me a true blue momma. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Memories and Odd Facts

As you all know Benjamin is in the hospital. He will hopefully be going home Thursday or Friday. So, while I wait I thought I would complete the tag from Jessica and combine it with Shelly's blog on memories.

Odd Facts:

1. I look at John's ears and cannot keep from touching and picking at them. I know it drives him crazy and I really do try to keep from doing it, but I can't. I also pick at my own ears until they bleed.

2. When I am in a drive thru I must keep plenty of space between the car in front out me and my car, just in case someone try to car jack me. I also have the same rule for the intersection at Harvard and I-44.

3. When I practice singing I use a hair brush as a microphone.

4.I am a people pleaser, who does not like to please people.

5. What atracted me to John was his akwardness and the fact that he was not suave. He swept me off my feet by being John.

Favorite Memories

1. Lake Eufala, everything about it. Playing with "little people" in the creek, sleeping in the pop-up with no AC, playing 21-31, my favorite memory of Eufala was seeing my dad so happy.

2. Going to Grandma and Papa's with my brother and sister and my cousins, laying in the bed scratching each other's backs and then switching sides, then Grandma coming in the room telling us to be quiet and go to sleep.

3. Friday nights with my Mom and Dad, Star Trek and steaks.

4. Telling John I was pregnant.

5. Seeing John's face the first time he saw Benjamin.

Well, now I am getting teary eyed, so I better stop there.

Benjamin's Birthday

I was put into the hospital due to high blood pressure on Monday. The doctor decided to induce. They put gel on my cervix to soften it. I began having contractions and cramps, totally unexpected. I thought they would put the gel in, I would take a sleeping pill, and begin the petocin drip at 5 am. Wrong, I went into active labor, with constant, no break contractions. They took the "gel" pill out 2 hours later, and the contractions continued all night. I finally fell asleep around 3:30-4:00 and was awoken at 5 am for the petocin. Let real labor begin! I was dialated to a two and at 8 am they broke my water...weird stuff. I was a three, with good strong contractions. I requested my epidural, or as I llike to call it a God sent special sauce. The actual epidural was nothing, so any preggers who are nervous about that, don't be seriously. I barely even felt it. So around 11am, they check and I am only a 4...are you kidding me? So hurry up and wait, issues with the epidural, only took on one side issue resolved, so quickly. Its like the anestheseologist has wings. Ok, so around 1 pm, dialated to a 7...good stuff, moving right along, then I realized I am scared to death. I need my mom. Mom comes, calms me down...moms are so good at that. They come in about an hour later..I am a ten, and ready to push. After a few fearful tears, I go into Go Mode. John assumes his position as coach. He was so funny and so cute. He is very, very queazy around blood and we had decided he would just keep eye contact with me and not cut the cord. He changed his mind. I was in Go Mode, he was in Dad Mode. Here is his coaching style, " 1, 2, 3, ....9, 10, again, you can do this Amy, and 1, 2, 3....9, 10 and one more time..." I started laughing at one point, he was straining his voice and I realized he was pushing along with me. In the meantime, John has decided he will be cutting the cord and he will watch. So he saw little Benjamin's head come out, John's face was breathtaking and the tears rolling down his face were priceless. Delivery complete, Benj had swallowed amniotic fluid so I didn't get to hold him for 45 minutes, which was really hard, but necessary. I nursed immediatley he look at me immediatley, and I fell instantly head over heels in love with him. Benjamin was worth every ache and pain, sleepless nights, hemrroids, etc. So everything is well in the household. I am currently going on about 3 hours of sleep in the last 3-4 days combined, so excuse the gramatical errors.

Longest Month of My LIFE

and its only the sixth. I consider myself a patient person, but come on. I love how all the books say the baby will make smaller movements because they are runnig out of room, apparently Benjamin did not read these books. My dad always said I was like a bull in a china cabinet. I belive my son is taking after his mommy. Unfortunatly for my uterus it is the china cabinet and my son is a giant bull. (He will probably only be six pounds and 18 inches long, but let me tell you, he feels huge to me.) He has officially droped per the doctor, her words exactly..."OH! His head it just right there." I could have told you that without the pelvic exam. My bladder has been announcing it with a bull horn.
Well, I guess let the waiting game continue, I don't really have much say so anways!

Baby Shower

My Family and Friend shower was awesome. I could not believe how many people came! The hostesses did an awesome job. The food, decorations, game, and organization made everything flow so smoothly! Benjamin received everything he needed and wanted times ten, except for his carseat/stroller combo which we were planning on getting ourselves anyways! I can't wait to see Benjamin in all his new clothes, playing with his new toys, and using everything that everyone bought. Thank you to everyone!
So, the third trimester, not really a big fan. I am tired, I can't get comfortable, I get leg cramps, and it feels as if Benjamin is trying to come out of my belly button sometimes. I can no longer get out of the bathtub by myself. John gets the pleasure of watching me look like a beached whale flopping around trying to get in a position where he can hoist me out. Benjamin is already teaching me humility. Either that or he is making me humiliated. Everyday I think I am going into labor. Was that another contaction? Did my water just break? Where's my books, I must check. Yeah, I know I still have over 4 weeks.

Church Shower and My Weekend

I had my church shower last Wednesday. We were overwhlemed with gifts! We got tons of clothes and blankets. He will surely never be naked or cold! The cake was awesome. Of course anything with sugar in it taste awesome to me! It was fun to watch John's facial expressions when I opened the gifts. He was getting so excited, ecspecially if anything had "Daddy" or "sports" on it.
John had to unexpectedly work out of town this weekend, but don't worry I didn't get lonely. I had offered to watch Jenny and Brian's boys so Jenny could go visit Brian while he was in Florida. I know that is can be hard to be away from your husband, and I have been somewhat bored, so I thought perfect timing. I had a blast with the boys. I am not saying they were perfect or I was perfect, but I did really enjoy them. If you take time to watch children they can really teach you a lot. There is no rushing in a child's world, even when it is cold outside. Walking down three steps, isn't just taking three steps. Its jumping off the side, not landing right, so you must do it again and this time add a twist while you are in the air. A two second task now takes 5 minutes. They really do make you stop and smell the roses.

I hope everyone is having a great week!

Birthing Class

BIRTHING CLASS.........................................$65.00


HOSPITAL FEES FOR LABOR AND DELIVERY.....$2500


SEEING MY HUSBAND PREGNANT....................PRICELESS

8 Weeks and Counting...

I can't beleive how fast my pregnancy has gone by. I knew by telling people so early it would drag by, but it really hasn't. I went to the doctor today for my 32 week check up and everything looks good. I am still measuring big (big baby), my blood pressure is good, his heart rate is good ,and he is in birthing position. Let the countdown begin! This weekend John and I have our Birthing Class. As you can imagine John is thrilled. I signed up for breast feeding classes too, which I couldn't talk John into going, so good ole Momma is going with me. We have our church shower Wednesday which is exciting and our family/friends shower on the 19th. Our January is getting full! This is a good thing though, I am not working (outside the home, believe me I am still working in the house) or going to school this semester. I am having a hard time adjusting without a set schedule.

Oh! I made the honor role! I never thought at 26 years of age I would still get excited about making the honor role. This semester was hard, between morning sickness and the challenging classes, I can honestly say I worked hard and earned my grades.

Hope everyone is doing well, and hope to see everyone at Benjamin's shower!

Let there be light...

And on the tenth day God said let there be light. John and I were without power for ten days, actually I was. John had no power for 4 days. He was in Vegas (on business) for two weeks. On the first day without power everyone called to see how I was. People really worry about you when you are pregnant and by yourself! John's cousin brought by a roasted chicken for me, food is very, very important to the LeMasters. John called to tell me his brother was on the way to the house to bring me firewood. I asked if he could just take me to Checotah to my in-laws. I had been without power for 12 hours, already felt a little crazy, very lonely, and cold...I knew I wouldn't last much longer. So, I stayed in Checotah until the follwing Monday. I loved Checotah. Everthing was slow paced, my in-laws spoiled me with days of shopping, wonderful food, movies, and pretty much anything my heart desired (which basically was just a lot of sweets). John flew in the following Sunday and we left fot Tulsa the next day for a doctors appointment and to check on the house. We lost a ton of limbs, giant limbs, our front porch awning was ripped off, we had punctures in our siding, some damage to the privacy fence, our shed in the back was crunched, and the wires were detatched from our house. "It could have been worse," is what I kept telling John (although I was biting my cheek to keep the tears from falling, and honestly it could have been worse, but all I can/could think off is preparing my home , our lives for our baby.) Let's see, Monday and Tuesday we stayed at my parents house so we could work on the house during the day and sleep there at night. Wednesday afternoon, I was taking a break from raking (John was at the bank) and a PSO truck drove by, I waved and smiled, he stopped, put it in reverse, and asked if I had power. "Nope." I must have looked pathetic, 30 weeks pregnant, no make-up, dirty, and worn out from raking and picking up what wood I could. Within 15 minutes we had lights! Priaise God! Glory Hallelujah! I cried.
Back to the doctor's appintment. I only have 10 weeks left. I am healthy, text book on weight gain, blood pressure, etc. He measured my belly, which he said is measuring big...YES! Moving up the due date...wrong, He is just a big boy. Oh, well, big healthy boy to take care of his momma.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Growing Up and Holidays

With each passing year the Holiday season keeps changing. The child inside of me misses the Thanksgivng where everyone came to my parent's house. It was mass chaos, too many people in a small area, there was wasted food, wasted pop, belly aches from eating too much food, loud talkers, and football on the TV blaring. But all my brothers and sisters were there, all my family was there, I didn't realize it at the time, but they are what made my Thanksgiving so great. I know my family is not perfect and I am sure there was drama at each holiday, but for some reason I don't remember those things.
We now have to make specific times for family to "fit" everyone in. We no longer make time for the ones we love, we schedule time. My holidays consist of watching the clock and watching people's feelings. I miss the Christmas with Jody in his stocking hat, Marla slowly moving around, barely awake, Jenny running into my room, "You have to see what Santa brought you", and Jonathan soon to follow with stocking in hand. I can remember one Christmas present I received, the trampoline. But I have numerous memories of Christmas time with my family that I wouldn't trade for a million presents. The greatest present I received as a child was being born in to the Richardson/Hendricks family.
I do enjoy my holidays now too, they are just changing. I have two of everything; now my little family is making thier own traditions, but it is hard letting go of past traditions. I love my family, all of my family, and I hope we continue to grow.

Happy Holidays

Last Tuesday night I got a call from my mother in law asking if I would be able to sing at a funeral Friday. A friend of her's husband had died and she had heard me sing at Pat's father's funeral and wanted me to sing at her husband's funeral. I was really flattered but I had Chemistry on Friday. I figured out a way to leave chemistry lecture early and come back a little late to chemistry lab and still be able to sing at the funeral. I spent a good part of the day on Wednesday finding the requested music. I really dislike singing to tracks, but I didn't know if they would have an accompanist or not. By the end of the day I was freaking out because I couldn't find a track for one of the songs they wanted, O Danny Boy--yes, not the typical funeral song, but it was the mans favorite song and honestly a song I really like. I finally was able to find it, but it was in a book and I had to buy the CD to go along with it. I ended up spending a little over $40 on music. Yikes. But I was still really honored that someone outside the family, someone I didn't even know, wanted me to sing! Did I mention this was a Catholic funeral? Wednesday night, three music stores later, I get a call from the music director from the church where the funeral was to be held. A few Catholic rules you may be unaware of, (1) You are to sing to live music, no tracks allowed.(I was able to take all the music back at least) (2) They are picky about what songs are allowed to be sung, NO Danny Boy allowed. (3) The music director must sing th majority of the music (she has a contract). Interesting. I am to meet with the accompanist that they provide, 45 minutes before the funeral and I will be singing Amazing Grace and In the Garden. WHAT! I am a perfectionist, I like to practice days in advance. Friday, I wake up a little nervous, which is strange for me, usually the day that I am to sing, I eat pepto and imodium like it is candy. I pray I don't get nervous, that the songs are comforting to the family, and that my voice is comforting as well. I stand up to sing, no nerves, no shaky voice, no sweaty, cold hands, and best of all no nervous stomach cramps. The power of God is an amazing thing. He truly rewarded me in the best way, for doing his will and using my gift to show God's comfort and empathy during trying times.
Today, I go to get the mail and there is a Thank You card from the woman. I open it up and a $100 check falls out. Are you kidding me?!? I get paid for it too!