Go back and read "that" blog...

      September 2012.

      One of John and I's pet peeves about facebook is when couples write on each other's walls.  Example:  Happy Anniversary! I love you more today than the day I married you etc.  I wonder if they actually say it to one another in person or just put it on each others wall.  So, instead of doing it on facebook I am going to do it on my blog...that makes it OK. : ) 
      I know and remember how hard it can be on a marriage when you have a baby.  So much of your time is spent with the baby your spouse can feel neglected, your marriage can feel neglected.  Whenever John feels like he is on the back burner I want him to read this blog.

Dear John,

I'm not for sure if my enormous belly gave it away or not, but we are getting ready to have two babies.  Two.  And they are girls.  Two girls. Now take a big deep breath in. : )  I will keep reminding you, if you continue to remind me.  I'm trying to figure out a good way to start in confessing my love for you.  I'm sure it will be awkward, similar to our entire relationship ie: first date, proposal, etc. but awkward it what we are good at.  That was one of the reasons I first fell in love with you.  You never said the "right" thing, you said the honest thing.  Perfect timing was non existent.  We never had the story book romance, which is what I always thought I wanted, but it turns out that, that is just a story.  You  didn't win me over with romantic dinners, flowers, poems or gifts.  (Obviously not gifts.  Remember our second Christmas?  A razor, a cook book and acne cream.  I'm suprised we still got married after that Christmas.)  You won me over with your love for me, your honesty, your simpleness, your devotion, the father I knew you would be, your stability, the way you look at me, the way you treat me and your legs.  (I love your legs, if I could bend over right now without tipping over I would totally squueze your calves.)  So those are the things that made me fall for you, now on to the things that continue to make me fall deeper.  All of the above plus, the father your are, the incredible head of househould you have become, your confidence, the way you comfort me, the Christian man you have become, the incredible provider you are and the humor you bring to our relationship. (You just walked into the room and showed me that you shaved your armpits on "accident".  Its never a dull moment around here.)  Our lives have never been perfect.  Never even close.  We have faced one challenge after another.  All of our challenges we have gone through have made for incredible memories (and funny stories, example our first trip to Branson.) I wouldn't change a challenge. There is no one I would rather go through this imperfect challenging life with and if you asked me to marry you again I would say yes, right after I told you I had the worse diarrhea of my life...again, perfect timing.

 I still love you more than mayonaise.

Ben's First Day of School!

Ben had an incredible first day of school. I made his favorite breakfast, pancakes. John is on vacation so we all three got to eat breakfast together. John and I both got to take him to school too. Ben was very excited and had no reservations of walking right in to his classroom. No tears at all (except for John : ) ) When we picked him up he was all smiles. His little eyes looked exhausted though. I hope every day is this easy!

 

 

Breakfast

Ready for school

Outside of his school

Walking to the gym for rise and shine!

!

Benarisms

-We were both laying on my bed looking at my growing belly and my stomach growled.  Ben's eyes got huge, "the babies just tooted!"

-While at the doctors office looking at a book we come across a cow with utters.  With his head cocked to the side, "look at all those penis' on that cow."

-Trying to teach a social child about strangers can be quite challenging. Me, " Ben we do not talk to adults if we do not know their name, they are called a stranger." Ben, "If I can't talk to them how can I ask them their name?" Me, "So, if someone comes to your school to pick you up and you do not know them do you get in their car?"  Ben, "No, I would ask their name first."  Me, "Lets start again."

-"Mom, you know the babie will have baginas like you."

-"Ben are you going to take care of your little sisters?"  "Yes, I am going to protect them and spank them"  Nope no spanking.

During the 110 degree weather a few clouds appeared, "Dad it looks like its going to snow."

"Mom you going to poop the babies out?"

What should you do if you can't keep up with one blog? I'll tell you, start another. That makes sense, right? John and I have been trying to have another child for about a year now and tomorrow we go to an infertility specialist. For some reason it is weighing heavy on my heart to blog about our adventure to conceive. My plan is to keep up with both blogs, this one about our everyday lives and the other about infertility. If you would like to follow us on that adventure the blog is www.ouradventuretoconception.blogspot.com.

Pinning Pictures

I wish I could think of words to write about graduation, but for some reason I can't. The evening was surreal. The majority of the night I was fighting back tears. Some of excitement and some of fear. Its real now.

ABC's of 2011

A-John and I celebrated our five year anniversary. It gets sweeter with each passing year.
B-Ben started his second year at Broadway Baptist Preschool. He is in there three year old program. His bestest little friend is named Brighton.
C-My Christian walk has changed a lot this year.
D-My brother-in-law was deployed to Afghanistan.
E-This year on Easter, Ben was able to hunt for his eggs by himself. This may seem insignificant but it is a reminder of how big he is getting.
F-We went on a family vacation to Florida. We stayed in Fort Walton Beach in a condo right on the beach. It was incredible.
G-I graduated from nursing school. The most challenging experience of my life. It was incredibly gratifying.
H-Ben went to his first happy birthday party that wasn't a family member. It was his best friend Brock's fourth birthday.
I-I can drive on the interstate in the rain without having a panic attack. So embarassing.
J-May 2011 marked one year of 3-5 days of jogging per week.
K-John accepted a job at KOTV as an evening director and manager.
L-I accepted a job in labor and delivery at St Francis Hospital.
M-I had a miscarriage in November. I'm still trying to put the pieces of my heart back together.
N-My middle brother and his family became neighbors to my parents, moving in across the street.
O-School was incredibly overwhelming this year.
P-Pregnancy has been the word this year. In January we will be seeing a fertility specialist.
Q-John quit traveling with his new job. I love having him home. Also John quit dipping.
R-I have read a total of 7 books for pleasure this year and about 20 for nursing school.
S-I got strep throat in November, it took two rounds of antibiotics to wipe it out. It is the sickest I have been in a long time.
T-My baby turned three, I turned thirty and John turned thirty three and there are three of us.
U-Ben went from diapers to underwear this year. He really did a fantastic job at potty training. For Ben three was the magic number.
V-I lost part of my visual field from an autoimmune disease. It caused optic nerve swelling. I will never regain that vision back due to scar tissue.
W-I started working this year as a nurse tech during my last semester of nursing school. I worked in post partum at St Francis Hospital.
X-I learned to play the xylophone this year. Not really, I just couldn't think of anything with the letter x.
Y-Ben is a young boy now, not a baby. It some ways its incredible like when he tells me he loves me, but in other ways I miss him being a little baby.
Z-We went to the zoo three times this year. Ben loves the animals.

146

Today was Jennah and Joel's musical. Joel was super adorable and very serious about his flag role. But I must say, Jennah stole the show. I love to see her passion for the arts. It brings back so many good memories for me being in plays and musicals. Jennah has so much raw tallent it always brings me to tear. Her voice it like a little angel. Her confidence on stage it breathtaking. You can tell she is in her element; she truly commands an audience.

147

I received a phone call today from the charge nurse in OB at St Francis today. There is a job opening in post-partum/high risk ante-partum. Awesome. Its an emergency call back position so it will work perfectly with my school schedule. Even better, it gives me a foot in the door to women's health for when I graduate. Which by the way is 147 days away.